I’ve had little to no self-esteem for most of my life. I guess I just kinda assumed you couldn’t consider yourself good at anything or pretty much think positively about yourself. I used to think people pretty much forgot I existed the minute I left their eyesight and that nobody ever talked or thought about me.
Until one day I pretty much over night thought, “wait a minute, that’s bullshit”. Ive since met friends who made me feel needed and appreciated, and I’ve gotten better at not thinking I’m expendable or unimportant, but sometimes I still feel guilty for thinking the slightest bit positive about myself.
But fuck that. There’s nothing humble about factoring out your own merit, there’s no nobility in removing yourself from the equation. You owe it to yourself to love yourself.
My boyfriend needed a new avatar and I offered to make one. I’m going to be honest, this isnt my best work, but that mostly has to do with the fact it needs to read well as a small image and I think the expression is too subtle. But it’s for my bf so it’s up to him if he likes it or not!
I haven’t showed him yet so you guys get the scoop.
I’ve had trouble doing pretty much any 2D art for a while, but I feel like tonight I’ve made a breakthrough in getting back into it, for which I’m grateful. I feel like I’ve reached a significant milestone, perhaps not so much in my skills, but in my state of mind. Nobody probably noticed this, but I recently changed my bog’s “about” information.
This is the first time in my life where I willingly called myself an artist. And for me that’s pretty big. Being an artist has always been my goal in life, and I guess I’m ready to acknowledge that maybe I’m there.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a very good artist, but for all the faults I know my work has, I still like it, and feel comfortable considering it art, and thus by extension considering myself an artist.
I… probably can’t convey how much this means to me.
I suppose a “thank you” is in order. Because if you’re reading this you’re probably following my blog, and that means you seem to actually like what I’m doing. And… that means a lot to me. So thank you. For that.
Today turned out to be one of the better days I’ve had in a long while, and I’m just… smiling like an idiot.
I fucking love art and I want it to always be a part of my life. And I guess that’s possible. I can do that. And if that’s not a reason to be happy as fuck I don’t know what is.
Er mah gerd another drawing. I’m working on an Egyptian themed game for school and the egyptian gods are actually pretty cutehot interesting. I’m also very relieved I’m finally working on a game project I can be passionate about.